Redeem this text for a blowjob
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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