he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
