I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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