worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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