He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
