He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
