When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
