This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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