dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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