I love black thongs
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
