i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
