oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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