hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
