If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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