I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
