Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
