I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
