"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
