I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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