i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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