if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
