When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
