atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
