nut hugger
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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