I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
