Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You can't special order awesome
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
