please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
