I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
