Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
