my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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