Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
