Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
