so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
