I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
