Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
