But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
