Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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