If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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