she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
