is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
