Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
