I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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