East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
