Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
