that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
