I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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