So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
