I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
ok first of all what the fuck
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
