this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
