Whod you bang
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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