She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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