you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
