i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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